This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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These appeared in church bulletins and newsletters.

  • This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  • Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social. All ladies giving milk please come early.
  • Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.
  • This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
  • The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
  • Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
  • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  • Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
  • Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  • Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
  • Today—Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
  • The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
  • 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
  • Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
  • A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
  • Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
    Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
    Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
  • On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
  • Don't let worry kill you—let the church help.
  • Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at side entrance.
  • The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 & 11. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
  • The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  • Please join us as we show support for Amy & Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
  • The Associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge—Up Yours."
  • Will the ladies of the Willing Workers who have towels which belong to the kitchen please bring them to the church on Friday as we need them for supper.
  • On a church postcard:
    __ I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
    __ I would like a personal call

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Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12