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CATEGORIES
Accident Reports An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. Ad Typos Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.The Bible According to Kids The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.Church Bulletins The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.English Misuse in Signs In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."Family Feud Q: Name an occupation where you need a torch. A: A burglar.Foreign Brands Superglans (car wax, Netherlands)Instruction Labels On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."Newspaper Headlines Latin Course To Be Canceled—No Interest Among Students, Et Al.On the Beat "Your life is not my fault."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.Things Kids Say (Regarding how did your mom and dad meet?) "They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down. It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." - Lottie, age 9Welfare Requests Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.What the Doctors Wrote Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.Young Scientists When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is given off. This is knows as constipation. |
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