This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Ad Typos
We build bodies that last a lifetime.

The Bible According to Kids
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Church Bulletins
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

English Misuse in Signs
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Family Feud
Q: Name something you do in the bathroom.
A: Decorate.

Foreign Brands
Hornyphon (video recorder, Austria)

Instruction Labels
On a Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: may cause drowsiness."

Newspaper Headlines
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

On the Beat
"In God we trust, all others are suspect."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how was kissing invented?)
"I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."  - Gina, age 8

Welfare Requests
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

Young Scientists
Men are mammals and women are femammals.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12