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CATEGORIES
Accident Reports I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. Ad Typos Three-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.The Bible According to Kids David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.Church Bulletins The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?English Misuse in Signs A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."Family Feud Q: Name a sign of the zodiac. A: April.Foreign Brands Homo Sausage (beef jerky, Japan)Instruction Labels On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."Newspaper Headlines British Union Finds Dwarves In Short SupplyOn the Beat "If it's worth stopping, it's worth writing."School Excuse Notes Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him and didn't find him till I started making the beds.Things Kids Say (Regarding concerning why lovers often hold hands) "They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing." - John, age 9Welfare Requests I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.What the Doctors Wrote The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.Young Scientists Proteins are composed of a mean old acid. |
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