This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

Ad Typos
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

The Bible According to Kids
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Church Bulletins
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Q: Male sperm?
A: That is the only kind I know.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today—no ice cream."

Family Feud
Q: Name a kind of ache.
A: Fillet 'O' Fish.

Foreign Brands
Skinababe (baby cleanser, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

Newspaper Headlines
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

On the Beat
"Take you hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

School Excuse Notes
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding confidential opinions about love)
"Love is foolish... but I still might try it sometime."  - Floyd, age 9

Welfare Requests
You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Young Scientists
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12