that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.The Bible According to Kids The epistles were the wives of the apostles.Church Bulletins A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Did he kill you?English Misuse in Signs In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."Family Feud Q: Name a jacket potato topping. A: Jam.Foreign Brands Superglans (car wax, Netherlands)Instruction Labels On Boots children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."Newspaper Headlines Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersOn the Beat "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" [If you aren't a shooter,,that is the average speed of a 9mm projectile]School Excuse Notes I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.Things Kids Say (Regarding how can a stranger tell if two people are married?) "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?What the Doctors Wrote She is numb from her toes down.Young Scientists All animals were here before mankind. The animals lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms. |