Accident ReportsAd Typos
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.The Bible According to Kids
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.Church Bulletins
On a church postcard:
__ I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
__ I would like a personal callCourtroom Bloopers
Q: This myasthenia gravis—does it affect your memory at all?
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?English Misuse in Signs
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour."Family Feud
Q: Name a food that can be brown or white.
A: Potato.Foreign Brands
Fockink (liqueur, Netherlands)Instruction Labels
On Tesco's Tramisu Dessert: "Do not turn upside down." (printed on the bottom of the box.)Newspaper Headlines
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A WhileOn the Beat
"Bullet-proof vests aren't."School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Things Kids Say
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents!" - Eric, age 6Welfare Requests
I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.What the Doctors Wrote
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.Young Scientists
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.