This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

Ad Typos
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

The Bible According to Kids
One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.

Church Bulletins
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Family Feud
Q: Name a song with moon in the title.
A: Blue Suede Moon.

Foreign Brands
Zit (lemon-lime soft drink, Greece)

Instruction Labels
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

Newspaper Headlines
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

On the Beat
"You can't outrun a radio."

School Excuse Notes
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"When they're rich."  - Pam, age 7

Welfare Requests
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

What the Doctors Wrote
She is numb from her toes down.

Young Scientists
As the rain forests in the Amazon are shrinking, so are the Indians.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12