that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.The Bible According to Kids St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.Church Bulletins The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."Courtroom Bloopers Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.English Misuse in Signs From the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."Family Feud Q: Name something associated with the police. A: Pigs.Foreign Brands Pipi (orangeade, Yugoslovia)Instruction Labels On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children."Newspaper Headlines Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In SpacecraftOn the Beat "Every dog has its day. Good dogs have two."School Excuse Notes Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him and didn't find him till I started making the beds.Things Kids Say (Regarding what do you think your mom and dad have in common?) "Both don't want any more kids." You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?What the Doctors Wrote The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.Young Scientists An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat. |