that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.The Bible According to Kids Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.Church Bulletins The Associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge—Up Yours."Courtroom Bloopers Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant A: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that son of a bitch—and she did!English Misuse in Signs In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."Family Feud Q: Name a famous Scotsman. A: Jock.Foreign Brands Trim Pecker (trousers, Japan)Instruction Labels On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."Newspaper Headlines Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of IsolationOn the Beat "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.Things Kids Say (Regarding how to make love endure) "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.What the Doctors Wrote The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.Young Scientists Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. |