that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.The Bible According to Kids Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.Church Bulletins Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.Courtroom Bloopers Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.English Misuse in Signs In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis."Family Feud Q: Name something you do in the bathroom. A: Decorate.Foreign Brands Colon Plus (liquid detergent, Spain)Instruction Labels On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children."Newspaper Headlines Defendants Speech Ends in Long SentenceOn the Beat "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" [If you aren't a shooter,,that is the average speed of a 9mm projectile]School Excuse Notes Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.Things Kids Say (Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?) "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.What the Doctors Wrote I will be happy to go into her GI system, she seems ready and anxious.Young Scientists An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat. |