This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

Ad Typos
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

The Bible According to Kids
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."

Church Bulletins
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Were you aquainted with the deceased?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?

English Misuse in Signs
In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Family Feud
Q: Name an occupation where you need a torch.
A: A burglar.

Foreign Brands
Last Climax (paper tissues, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a packet of Sunmaid Raisins: "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?"

Newspaper Headlines
Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One

On the Beat
"In God we trust, all others we run NCIC."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding what do most people do on a date?)
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."  - Lynnette, age 8

Welfare Requests
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

Young Scientists
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12