This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

Ad Typos
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

The Bible According to Kids
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

Church Bulletins
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
A: No.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Bangkok dry cleaners: "Drop your trousers here for best results."

Family Feud
Q: Name a jacket potato topping.
A: Jam.

Foreign Brands
Skinababe (baby cleanser, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On Tesco's Tramisu Dessert: "Do not turn upside down." (printed on the bottom of the box.)

Newspaper Headlines
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

On the Beat
"Just how big were those two beers?"

School Excuse Notes
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!"  - Anita, age 9

Welfare Requests
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Young Scientists
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits at the top and you sit on the bottom.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12