|
|
CATEGORIES
Accident Reports In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. Ad Typos Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and must be willing to get hands dirty.The Bible According to Kids Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.Church Bulletins Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?English Misuse in Signs In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."Family Feud Q: Name something that floats in the bath. A: Water.Foreign Brands Mucos (soft drink, Japan)Instruction Labels On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."Newspaper Headlines Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet FishOn the Beat "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."School Excuse Notes My daughter was absdent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.Things Kids Say (Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?) "When they're rich." - Pam, age 7Welfare Requests I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.What the Doctors Wrote The patient refused an autopsy.Young Scientists Men are mammals and women are femammals. |
|