This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

Ad Typos
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

The Bible According to Kids
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Church Bulletins
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

Family Feud
Q: Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine.
A: A bicycle with wings.

Foreign Brands
Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)

Instruction Labels
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

Newspaper Headlines
Chinese Apeman Dated

On the Beat
"Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."

School Excuse Notes
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how would the world be different if people didn't get married?)
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"  - Kelvin, age 8

Welfare Requests
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

Young Scientists
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12