This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

Ad Typos
Three-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

The Bible According to Kids
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Church Bulletins
Please join us as we show support for Amy & Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

English Misuse in Signs
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Family Feud
Q: Name something in the garden that's green.
A: Shed.

Foreign Brands
Mucos (soft drink, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children."

Newspaper Headlines
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

On the Beat
"In God we trust, all others are suspect."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?)
"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up."  - Sarah, age 9

Welfare Requests
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

What the Doctors Wrote
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Young Scientists
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12