This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

Ad Typos
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

The Bible According to Kids
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Church Bulletins
On a church postcard:
__ I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
__ I would like a personal call

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: This myasthenia gravis—does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

English Misuse in Signs
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour."

Family Feud
Q: Name a food that can be brown or white.
A: Potato.

Foreign Brands
Fockink (liqueur, Netherlands)

Instruction Labels
On Tesco's Tramisu Dessert: "Do not turn upside down." (printed on the bottom of the box.)

Newspaper Headlines
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

On the Beat
"Bullet-proof vests aren't."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding )
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents!"  - Eric, age 6

Welfare Requests
I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Young Scientists
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12