that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Great Dames for sale.The Bible According to Kids St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.Church Bulletins The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.English Misuse in Signs In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."Family Feud Q: Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers. A: A horse.Foreign Brands Hornyphon (video recorder, Austria)Instruction Labels On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."Newspaper Headlines Squad Helps Dog Bite VictimOn the Beat "If it's worth stopping, it's worth writing."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.Things Kids Say (Regarding is it better to be single or married?) "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.What the Doctors Wrote She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.Young Scientists Most books say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime. |