This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

Ad Typos
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

The Bible According to Kids
When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Church Bulletins
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

English Misuse in Signs
In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Family Feud
Q: Name something you open other than a door.
A: Your bowels.

Foreign Brands
Plopp (chocolate bar, Sweden)

Instruction Labels
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

Newspaper Headlines
Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

On the Beat
"Some people are meant to be cops, and some people are meant to call the cops."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how to make love endure)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash."  - Dave, age 8

Welfare Requests
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

What the Doctors Wrote
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

Young Scientists
When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is given off. This is knows as constipation.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12