that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.The Bible According to Kids Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."Church Bulletins Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?English Misuse in Signs In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday."Family Feud Q: Name something in the garden that's green. A: Shed.Foreign Brands Krapp (toilet paper, Sweden)Instruction Labels On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."Newspaper Headlines Latin Course To Be Canceled—No Interest Among Students, Et Al.On the Beat "Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.Things Kids Say (Regarding concerning the proper age to get married) "Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other." I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.What the Doctors Wrote When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.Young Scientists If conditions are not favourable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence. |