Accident ReportsAd Typos
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.The Bible According to Kids
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.Church Bulletins
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.English Misuse in Signs
In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."Family Feud
Q: Name a food that can be brown or white.
A: Potato.Foreign Brands
Mucos (soft drink, Japan)Instruction Labels
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."Newspaper Headlines
Two Soviet Ships Collide—One DiesOn the Beat
"Law enforcement is not a spectator sport."School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Things Kids Say
(Regarding some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." - Bart, age 9Welfare Requests
You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?What the Doctors Wrote
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.Young Scientists
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.