This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

Ad Typos
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

The Bible According to Kids
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Church Bulletins
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

English Misuse in Signs
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Family Feud
Q: Name something associated with the police.
A: Pigs.

Foreign Brands
Mucos (soft drink, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

Newspaper Headlines
Steals Clock, Faces Time

On the Beat
"Bullet-proof vests aren't."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?)
"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up."  - Sarah, age 9

Welfare Requests
This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Young Scientists
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits at the top and you sit on the bottom.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12