This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

Ad Typos
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

The Bible According to Kids
When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Church Bulletins
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Family Feud
Q: Name something in the garden that's green.
A: Shed.

Foreign Brands
Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)

Instruction Labels
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

Newspaper Headlines
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

On the Beat
"There are multiple copies here. You need to press down firmly when signing at the bottom of the ticket."

School Excuse Notes
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding concerning why lovers often hold hands)
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."  - Gavin, age 8

Welfare Requests
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

Young Scientists
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12