This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Ad Typos
The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

The Bible According to Kids
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

Church Bulletins
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Family Feud
Q: Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine.
A: A bicycle with wings.

Foreign Brands
Colon Plus (liquid detergent, Spain)

Instruction Labels
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

Newspaper Headlines
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

On the Beat
"Uh... yes Chief, it only appeared as if I wasn't paying attention to your speech. Actually, you inspired me to meditate on the mission statement and envision a new paradigm."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."  - Will, age 7

Welfare Requests
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.

Young Scientists
Men are mammals and women are femammals.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12