This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

Ad Typos
Three-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

The Bible According to Kids
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."

Church Bulletins
Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at side entrance.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."

Family Feud
Q: Name a famous bridge.
A: The bridge over troubled waters.

Foreign Brands
Ass Glue (blood tonic from donkey parts, China)

Instruction Labels
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

Newspaper Headlines
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

On the Beat
"Law enforcement is not a spectator sport."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you)
"Shake your hips and hope for the best."  - Camille, age 9

Welfare Requests
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Young Scientists
Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12