This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

Ad Typos
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

The Bible According to Kids
Jesus was born because Mary had an emasculate contraption.

Church Bulletins
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

English Misuse in Signs
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

Family Feud
Q: Name a famous brother and sister.
A: Bonnie & Clyde.

Foreign Brands
Pshitt (soft drink, France)

Instruction Labels
On Boots children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."

Newspaper Headlines
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

On the Beat
"Bullet-proof vests aren't."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding on what falling in love is like)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long."  - Glenn, age 7

Welfare Requests
I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

What the Doctors Wrote
She is numb from her toes down.

Young Scientists
The largst mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12