This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

Ad Typos
Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

The Bible According to Kids
Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

Church Bulletins
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 & 11. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A: No.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Family Feud
Q: Name a famous Scotsman.
A: Jock.

Foreign Brands
Mucos (soft drink, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

Newspaper Headlines
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

On the Beat
"Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because, dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding what do most people do on a date?)
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."  - Martin, age 10

Welfare Requests
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Young Scientists
A circle is a figure with 0 corners and only one side.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12