that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!The Bible According to Kids Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.Church Bulletins The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."Courtroom Bloopers Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas? A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.English Misuse in Signs In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."Family Feud Q: Name something slippery. A: A conman.Foreign Brands Colon Plus (liquid detergent, Spain)Instruction Labels On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."Newspaper Headlines Child's Death Ruins Couple's HolidayOn the Beat "In God we trust, all others are suspect."School Excuse Notes My daughter was absdent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.Things Kids Say (Regarding how can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?) "Just see if the man picks up the cheque. That's how you can tell if he's in love." In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.What the Doctors Wrote I will be happy to go into her GI system, she seems ready and anxious.Young Scientists All animals were here before mankind. The animals lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms. |