This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

Ad Typos
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

The Bible According to Kids
Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

Church Bulletins
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What is your name?
A: Ernestine McDowell.
Q: And what is your marital status?
A: Fair.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

Family Feud
Q: Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine.
A: A bicycle with wings.

Foreign Brands
Hornyphon (video recorder, Austria)

Instruction Labels
On a packet of Sunmaid Raisins: "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?"

Newspaper Headlines
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

On the Beat
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how to make love endure)
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."  - Dick, age 7

Welfare Requests
Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

What the Doctors Wrote
The skin was moist and dry.

Young Scientists
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12