This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

Ad Typos
Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

The Bible According to Kids
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Church Bulletins
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social. All ladies giving milk please come early.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

English Misuse in Signs
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."

Family Feud
Q: Name a jacket potato topping.
A: Jam.

Foreign Brands
Krapp (toilet paper, Sweden)

Instruction Labels
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

Newspaper Headlines
Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

On the Beat
"God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding concerning why love happens between two particular people)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."  - Manuel, age 8

Welfare Requests
I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Young Scientists
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12