This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

Ad Typos
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

The Bible According to Kids
Jesus was born because Mary had an emasculate contraption.

Church Bulletins
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

English Misuse in Signs
Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance: "English well speaking." and "Here speeching American."

Family Feud
Q: Name something a blind person might use.
A: A sword.

Foreign Brands
Krapp (toilet paper, Sweden)

Instruction Labels
On a Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: may cause drowsiness."

Newspaper Headlines
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

On the Beat
"Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because, dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf."

School Excuse Notes
My daughter was absdent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how would you make a marriage work?)
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."  - Ricky,age 10

Welfare Requests
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

Young Scientists
The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12