This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

Ad Typos
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

The Bible According to Kids
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Church Bulletins
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: "What disco am I at?"

English Misuse in Signs
In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Family Feud
Q: Name a food that can be brown or white.
A: Potato.

Foreign Brands
Pansy (men's underwear, China)

Instruction Labels
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

Newspaper Headlines
Scientists to Have Ford's Ear

On the Beat
"Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because, dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf."

School Excuse Notes
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding what most people are thinking when they say, "i love you")
"The person is thinking: 'Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.'"  - Michelle, age 9

Welfare Requests
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

What the Doctors Wrote
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

Young Scientists
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12