This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

Ad Typos
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

The Bible According to Kids
When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Church Bulletins
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: "What disco am I at?"

English Misuse in Signs
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: "Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Family Feud
Q: Name something that floats in the bath.
A: Water.

Foreign Brands
Colon Plus (liquid detergent, Spain)

Instruction Labels
On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

Newspaper Headlines
British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

On the Beat
"Take you hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him and didn't find him till I started making the beds.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."  - Kally, age 9

Welfare Requests
You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

What the Doctors Wrote
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

Young Scientists
Algebra was the wife of Euclid.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12