This web page is dedicated to those who remind us that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.

9472 Home > CATEGORIES Accident Reports I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. Ad Typos Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. The Bible According to Kids The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. Church Bulletins The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." Courtroom Bloopers Q: Could you see him from where you were standing? A: I could see his head. Q: And where was his head? A: Just above his shoulders. English Misuse in Signs In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order." Family Feud Q: Name a kind of ache. A: Fillet 'O' Fish. Foreign Brands Homo Sausage (beef jerky, Japan) Instruction Labels On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Newspaper Headlines New Vaccine May Contain Rabies On the Beat "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." School Excuse Notes Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him and didn't find him till I started making the beds. Things Kids Say (Regarding how to make love endure) "Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."  - Natalie, age 9 Welfare Requests Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows. What the Doctors Wrote I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. Young Scientists Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy. EXTERNAL Opzinjbest — Dutch collection of links Opzinjbest Bloopers — Opzinjbest.nl links to more bloopers online

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12