that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.The Bible According to Kids Jesus was born because Mary had an emasculate contraption.Church Bulletins A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Do you drink when you're on duty? A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.English Misuse in Signs Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance: "English well speaking." and "Here speeching American."Family Feud Q: Name something a blind person might use. A: A sword.Foreign Brands Krapp (toilet paper, Sweden)Instruction Labels On a Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: may cause drowsiness."Newspaper Headlines Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be BeltedOn the Beat "Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because, dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf."School Excuse Notes My daughter was absdent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.Things Kids Say (Regarding how would you make a marriage work?) "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.What the Doctors Wrote The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.Young Scientists The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours. |