This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

Ad Typos
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

The Bible According to Kids
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

Church Bulletins
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

English Misuse in Signs
In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

Family Feud
Q: Name a jacket potato topping.
A: Jam.

Foreign Brands
Homo Sausage (beef jerky, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a hotel-provided shower cap: "Fits one head."

Newspaper Headlines
County Officials to Talk Rubbish

On the Beat
"I know, I know! Your kid is an honour student at the juvenile detention centre."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding on the role of beauty and handsomeness in love)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."  - Brian, age 7

Welfare Requests
I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

What the Doctors Wrote
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

Young Scientists
If conditions are not favourable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12