Accident ReportsAd Typos
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.The Bible According to Kids
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.Church Bulletins
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."Courtroom Bloopers
Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then later on, what did you see?
A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.English Misuse in Signs
In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."Family Feud
Q: Name something associated with the police.
A: Pigs.Foreign Brands
Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)Instruction Labels
On a hotel-provided shower cap: "Fits one head."Newspaper Headlines
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal AdviceOn the Beat
"I'd rather have the gear and not need it than need the gear I don't have."School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.Things Kids Say
(Regarding confidential opinions about love)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." - Regina, age 10Welfare Requests
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.What the Doctors Wrote
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.Young Scientists
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.