This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

Ad Typos
Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and must be willing to get hands dirty.

The Bible According to Kids
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.

Church Bulletins
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

English Misuse in Signs
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Family Feud
Q: Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers.
A: A horse.

Foreign Brands
Superglans (car wax, Netherlands)

Instruction Labels
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

Newspaper Headlines
Deer Kill 130,000

On the Beat
"Someone somewhere is practicing. If you're not, and someday you should meet, you will lose."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you)
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."  - Del, age 6

Welfare Requests
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

What the Doctors Wrote
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

Young Scientists
One hydrogin martini, hold the water.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12