This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

Ad Typos
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

The Bible According to Kids
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Church Bulletins
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

English Misuse in Signs
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

Family Feud
Q: Name something a cat does.
A: Goes to the toilet.

Foreign Brands
Ass Glue (blood tonic from donkey parts, China)

Instruction Labels
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

Newspaper Headlines
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

On the Beat
"Law abiding citizens sleep peacefully in their beds, solely because, dedicated men and women stand ready to do violence in their behalf."

School Excuse Notes
Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how would you make a marriage work?)
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."  - Ricky,age 10

Welfare Requests
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

Young Scientists
The leopard has black spots which look like round soars on its body. Those who catch soars get leprosy.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12