This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

Ad Typos
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

The Bible According to Kids
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

Church Bulletins
Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you peformed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

English Misuse in Signs
In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Family Feud
Q: Name something associated with the police.
A: Pigs.

Foreign Brands
Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)

Instruction Labels
On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

Newspaper Headlines
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

On the Beat
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding confidential opinions about love)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."  - Regina, age 10

Welfare Requests
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

Young Scientists
The largst mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12