Accident ReportsAd Typos
I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.The Bible According to Kids
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."Church Bulletins
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"Courtroom Bloopers
Q: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A: Well, a gal down the road had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.English Misuse in Signs
On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."Family Feud
Q: Name a famous brother and sister.
A: Bonnie & Clyde.Foreign Brands
Hornyphon (video recorder, Austria)Instruction Labels
On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."Newspaper Headlines
Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At AuctionOn the Beat
"Uh... yes Chief, it only appeared as if I wasn't paying attention to your speech. Actually, you inspired me to meditate on the mission statement and envision a new paradigm."School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.Things Kids Say
(Regarding what do you think your mom and dad have in common?)
"Both don't want any more kids." - Lori, age 8Welfare Requests
I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.What the Doctors Wrote
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.Young Scientists
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.