This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

Ad Typos
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

The Bible According to Kids
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

Church Bulletins
On a church postcard:
__ I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour
__ I would like a personal call

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

English Misuse in Signs
In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Family Feud
Q: Name a song with moon in the title.
A: Blue Suede Moon.

Foreign Brands
Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)

Instruction Labels
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

Newspaper Headlines
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

On the Beat
"Take you hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

School Excuse Notes
Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding how can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?)
"See if the man has lipstick on his face."  - Sandra, age 7

Welfare Requests
My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient refused an autopsy.

Young Scientists
If conditions are not favourable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12