This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Ad Typos
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

The Bible According to Kids
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

Church Bulletins
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

English Misuse in Signs
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour."

Family Feud
Q: Name something associated with the police.
A: Pigs.

Foreign Brands
Trim Pecker (trousers, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On Tesco's Tramisu Dessert: "Do not turn upside down." (printed on the bottom of the box.)

Newspaper Headlines
New Missouri U. Chancellor expects little sex

On the Beat
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding concerning why love happens between two particular people)
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."  - Mae, age 9

Welfare Requests
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

What the Doctors Wrote
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Young Scientists
The largst mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12