This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

Ad Typos
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

The Bible According to Kids
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Church Bulletins
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

English Misuse in Signs
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

Family Feud
Q: Name something in the garden that's green.
A: Shed.

Foreign Brands
Plopp (chocolate bar, Sweden)

Instruction Labels
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

Newspaper Headlines
Blind Bishop Appointed To See

On the Beat
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" [If you aren't a shooter,,that is the average speed of a 9mm projectile]

School Excuse Notes
Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"When they're rich."  - Pam, age 7

Welfare Requests
My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

What the Doctors Wrote
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

Young Scientists
Most books say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12