This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

Ad Typos
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

The Bible According to Kids
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Church Bulletins
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.

English Misuse in Signs
In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

Family Feud
Q: Name a number you have to memorize.
A: 7.

Foreign Brands
Pshitt (soft drink, France)

Instruction Labels
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

Newspaper Headlines
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

On the Beat
"Your life is not my fault."

School Excuse Notes
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."  - Will, age 7

Welfare Requests
I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

Young Scientists
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12