This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

Ad Typos
The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

The Bible According to Kids
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.

Church Bulletins
Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

English Misuse in Signs
In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily."

Family Feud
Q: Name something slippery.
A: A conman.

Foreign Brands
Trim Pecker (trousers, Japan)

Instruction Labels
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

Newspaper Headlines
Man is Fatally Slain

On the Beat
"I know, I know! Your kid is an honour student at the juvenile detention centre."

School Excuse Notes
My daughter was absdent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding on the role of beauty and handsomeness in love)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."  - Christine, age 9

Welfare Requests
Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

What the Doctors Wrote
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

Young Scientists
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12