This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

Ad Typos
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

The Bible According to Kids
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

Church Bulletins
Will the ladies of the Willing Workers who have towels which belong to the kitchen please bring them to the church on Friday as we need them for supper.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

English Misuse in Signs
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

Family Feud
Q: Name something you open other than a door.
A: Your bowels.

Foreign Brands
Zit (lemon-lime soft drink, Greece)

Instruction Labels
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children."

Newspaper Headlines
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

On the Beat
"Bullet-proof vests aren't."

School Excuse Notes
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding on the role of beauty and handsomeness in love)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."  - Brian, age 7

Welfare Requests
In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

What the Doctors Wrote
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Young Scientists
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12