Star Names |
| Now when I was young and my figure was sleek. (Memories) |
| I had a different gal every night of the week. |
| And each gal knew for certain which was her day, |
| You see their names were Sandy, Mandy, |
| Trudy, Wendy, Fergie, |
| Heidi and Sally-May. |
|
| And when people ask me why I never married, |
| Why I never took a wife. One of my own that is! |
| I tell them it's because I have been in love with screen stars all my life. |
| When our padre asked me, "Now can you name the five disciples, my son?" |
| I said, "Well I sure can, they're Mathew, Mark, Olivia Newton-John." You see, |
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| I'm fond o' Jane Fonda, but who's Jane Fonda me? |
| I'm mad on a lady called Madonna, but Madonna ain't mad on me. |
| I'm ready for Helen Reddy, hell I'm ready as I'm ever gonna be, |
| And if I could see more of Jane Seymour, I'd let Jane see more of me. (And there's a lot to see) |
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| I'd like to run away with Faye Dunaway, to a little Rosanne Barr and down some beers. |
| Before Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley'd come along, we'd all lift up our glasses and say, "Cheers!" |
| I'd let Gloria Gainer a little bit of weight, as we'd picnic in some Donna Summer place. |
| And if I got my burly chassis Glenn Close to Shirley Bassey, would she Tina turn away or slap my face? |
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| I could love Betty Boo, love Judy Christie too, loved I not Mary Tyler Moore? |
| If I met Kim Bassinger I know I'd end up chasing her along some sandy Dinah Shore, |
| I could go Kim Wild for Morgan Fairchild, Dr. Ruth could show me how to treat her right. |
| We could work for Doris Day and when it's time for play we'd smile and say, "We're Gladys Knight." |
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| I'd take Brooke Shields to a Sally Field where cool Joan Rivers flow. |
| On a velvet cushion there'd be Kate Bush and she'd sing sweet and low. |
| For that nice Sam Fox I'd gladly box Mike Tyson's mama, |
| And then I'd start on Dolly Parton and then take on Bananarama. |
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| I could do it but of course I would be great to Farah Fawcett, ask me over on her phone. |
| If I was with Segourney Weaver, well I could never leave her behind alone. |
| But if Kate and Alley refused to get pally, though I'd bring 'em Minnie Pearls, |
| Well as I said goodbye, they would hear me sigh, "Thank Linda Evans for golden girls," |
| Don't you just love 'em? |
| "Thank Linda Evans for those gorgeous golden girls." |
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