Portable TV Set| Similar to Transistor Radio. Donated by a friend of the page. |
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| Eb My baby's got a portable TV set, she takes it with her all the time, |
| She takes it when we go out a-walkin', or Fadd9rowing on the SerpenBb7tine. |
| Well now Ebjust last night in the Eb7pale moonlight I Abasked her for a B7kiss, |
| But inEbstead of Bb7looking inEbto her Cmlovely eyes, Fadd9all that I could Bb7see was Ebthis. |
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| IRONSIDE: She is very beautiful, isn't she? Perhaps that's why I appreciate her devotion to me so much. Oh, she's devoted to me, make no mistake about that, she shows it in so many ways... the way she worries about my career and my health, and sometimes I think she should get a younger man, at this point Ironside's assistant lets go of his wheelchair and he starts rolling out of control down the path I suggested to her time and time again. She's a wonderful person, really wonderful. Not just her, but all three of you, your worrying all the time about my health, my career and everything about me... I don't know, I'm such a lucky man to have a wonderful-- Ironside and his wheelchair crash into a tree, and we next see him, still in his wheelchair, flat on his back Ah, you're good, you're kind, you're decent -- you're American, I like that in a person. An American, that... that means a lot to me, it really does... Mmm, push a little bit harder, will ya? |
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| Eb I went 'round to the house where my baby lives to ask her for a date, |
| There I was a-walkin' up the garden path aFadd9round about half past Bb7eight. |
| When I Ebheard a sound made my Eb7poor heart pound, why it Abstopped me in my B7stride, |
| I Ebseemed to Bb7hear the Ebvoice of aCmnother guy Fadd9coming Bb7from inEbside. |
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| COOKING SHOW HOST: I asked my assistant if he'd trust the turkey, and he said, "With my life." And then I said to him, what would you say to a Sole Bonne Femme, and he said, "Bonjour, Sole Bonne Femme." Then I asked him if he had any time for stuffing. Some days it doesn't pay you to get up... he slumps face-down on the table |
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| EbI'd like to take her portable TV set and throw it in the deep blue sea, |
| Why I'm so jealous of her portable TV set Fadd9'cause it takes her mind off Bb7me. |
| I Ebsaid, "Oh baby, Eb7please be mine, I Abwant you for my B7own, |
| EbTell me, Bb7is your Eblove for someCmbody else, Fadd9or is it for Bb7me aEblone?" |
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| RELIGIOUS SHOW HOST: starts off playing a few notes on the organ, then stops to read a letter Also for Ivor Payne, The Hollies, Prickle Bottome Road, Itchen, Herts. And tonight, he and his lovely wife are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. And you know nowadays, with divorce being so prelavent - such a lot of it about - and people living the permissive society, it's nice to know that a couple have stayed together in wedded bliss for 25 years. And tonight, they'll be watching the programme with their 27-year-old son, Sebastian. And they go on to say that, "Until we saw your programme, we didn't know what wickedness and sin was." And I think that's lovely to get a letter of... he opens up the letter to reveal a centerfold picture of a Playboy playmate tucked inside |
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| Eb I swore to her that I would be always true and love her all the while, |
| And on that oh so happy day in May I Fadd9took her down the Bb7aisle. |
| "Now do you Ebtake this man to be your Eb7loving husband?" the Abpreacher softly B7said, |
| But he Ebnever Bb7heard her ladyEblike reCmply, he heard The Fadd9LadyBb7birds inEbstead. |
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| Benny, Bob Todd and Jimmy Thompson in drag as The Ladybirds, obviously miming: |
| LADYBIRD #1: MuEbsicians say my 'doo-wahs' always drive them Bb7mad, |
| LADYBIRD #3: And Tom Jones says my 'yah-yahs' are the best he's ever Ebhad. |
| LADYBIRD #1: They love my 'lee-roo-Ablee-roos' with a G7zing that's sweet and Cmhot, |
| LADYBIRD #2: But they Eball agree that my 'Bum -- titty-Bb7bum-bum' means a Eblot. AbEb |
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| Eb We went to spend our honeymoon down on the island of Capri, |
| I found ourselves a very small hotel as Fadd9quiet as can Bb7be. |
| But Ebwhen I got up Eb7to our room upAbon our wedding B7night, |
| EbThis is the Bb7sight that Ebmade my Cmeyes as Fadd9I switched Bb7out the Eblight. |
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| WOMAN: Ahh... darling... |
| MAN: 'Ere, where's the television set? |
| WOMAN: Television he wants?! Bb9Bb7-9Ebmaj7 |
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