Pepys' Diary |
| A shy young maid has took a room down at the village inn, |
| Her bedside light is oh so bright and the curtains oh so thin. |
| At nine o'clock she enters her room, at half past nine she sleeps, |
| Lord Clarendon walks quickly on but naughty Samuel peeps. |
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| Chorus: |
| For we know it's right, it's in black and white, |
| And it's all written down in his diary. |
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| I went to rent a lady's house, she handed me the key, |
| She said, "It's to be let as it stands with all that you can see." |
| 'And are you to be let with the house?" said I in a very saucy tone, |
| She said, "I'm not to be let with the house, I'm to be let alone." |
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| Chorus |
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| Squire Pit locked his wife in her chastity belt then climbed up on his horse, |
| He left the key with the footman lest he was killed in the wars. |
| He'd not gone far when up ran the footman shouting breathlessly, |
| He said, "Squire Pit, this key doesn't fit," and he said, "You're telling me." |
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| Chorus |
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| Half way up a wall outside a castle in Tranmere, |
| There is a sign that reads, 'The Duke of Denby was born here." |
| I've travelled far and I've travelled wide but ne'er can I recall, |
| Ever hearing of a duke born half way up a wall. |
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| Chorus |
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| Last Thursday morn my wife gave birth to a lovely baby boy, |
| As the doctor took me to see them, my heart was filled with joy. |
| When he said, "He's got your husband's nose," my wife looked quite surprised, |
| She said, "That may be, but you must agree, he's got his father's eyes." |
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| Chorus |
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| Yes we know it's right, it's in black and white, |
| And it's all written down in his diary. |
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