Lifeguards |
| This gorgeous gal lay on the beach with blonde curls 'round her head, |
| She had a kiddie with her and his hair was flaming red. |
| I said, "Tell me about his father, was his hair as red as that?" |
| She said, "I couldn't tell you, sport, he didn't take off his hat." |
|
| Forward the march and we'll never let you down, |
| We are the lifeguards of Tomberama town. |
|
| Now I went to the opening of this big store's annual sales, |
| But the way them sheilas push and shove, they're stronger than us males. |
| One lady had me on my back and I looked up in 'orror, |
| As a big blonde sat on my face, I'm going again tomorrow. |
|
| ??? you never wear a frown, |
| We are the lifeguards of Tomberama town. |
|
| Now a lady said, "Find my husband, I think he's disappeared." |
| I said, "I'll need a description," she said, "Well he got a long white beard." |
| And he's short and fat and bald and the size of his nose you wouldn't credit, |
| His eyes are crossed, he's got no teeth. On second thoughts, forget it." |
|
| ??? and you will never drown, |
| We are the lifeguards of Tomberama town. |
|
| Now I asked this sheila what she'd do if she fell in the bay, |
| I said, "Would you tear your clothes off so that you could swim away?" |
| She said, "Well, I'd keep my blouse on, that's the method I'd employ. |
| You see, the air gets underneath it and it acts just like a buoy." |
|
| ??? as the boat goes up and down, |
| We are the lifeguards of Tomberama town. |
|
| Now we're staying at a duff hotel, it's called The Crooked Tower, |
| The bidet's broke so all the blokes do handstands in the shower. |
| I phoned up the receptionist and with great annoyance said, |
| "I've got a leak in my wash basin," and she said, "Okay, go ahead." |
|
| We are the champions, lifeguards of reknowned, |
| We are the lifeguards of Tomberama town. |
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