Gypsy Dance |
| Now Maria was a high class gypsy, she sold gold earings from a stall, |
| Her mother had a cut-glass eye, her father had a crystal ball. |
| I took Maria to a fancy dress dance, it was a very swell affair, |
| All the girls had to wear a dress the same colour as their escort's hair. |
| There was a commotion in the ballroom at the palace, |
| All the men wanted to dance with the girl who came with Telly Savalas. |
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| Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum. |
| Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum. |
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| All together. Please yourselves. |
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| Please don't blame my doggie, it's not his fault at all, |
| Someone left a wet umbrella standing in the hall. |
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| Bend down girls who touch your toes, |
| I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes. |
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| Some girls are like Africa, mysterious and hot, |
| Other girls are like "Paree" with all the charm it's got. |
| But Maria she is like Tibet with all its ice and snow there, |
| 'Cause everyone knows where it is but no one wants to go there. |
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| Dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe. |
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| I must admit she was the strangest woman that I have ever seen, |
| One of her eyes was bright magenta, but the other two were green. |
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| I went into a phone box to try and get in touch, |
| With my lovely Maria 'cause I love her so much. |
| A policeman came and turned me out, I still can hear him yell, |
| He went back into the phone box and he turned her out as well. |
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| Dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe. |
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| I twirled her 'round the dance floor, she said, "I hate the way you're doing it." |
| I said, "Why?" she said, "I've got a wooden leg and you're unscrewing it." |
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| Standing on a crosstown bus hanging by a strap, |
| She let her hanky fall into a sleeping old man's lap. |
| He woke up, he looked down, he gave a sheepish grin, |
| He thought it was his shirt-tail and he slyly tucked it in. |
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| Dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe. |
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| I saw her in her birthday suit swimming by the wier, |
| She said, "Please go away," but I pretended not to hear. |
| She said, "If you don't go I'll stay in here 'til it gets dark," |
| I said, "That's okay by me, I only came to feed the shark." |
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| Dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe, dets bi-diddly-doe. |
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| We had the gypsy wedding but the caterers were mobsters, |
| They blew up all the prawns and shrimps to make them look like lobsters. |
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| So she stuffed herself with wedding cake and beer and fish and chips, |
| I carried her across the threshold, I had to make two trips. |
| But alas that wicked gypsy girl has ruined my poor life, |
| She's gone back to her mother and not I'm going back to the wife. |
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